Five More Years

I’ll start this out by saying that even though I was raised Catholic in a small town in Texas, I don’t consider myself religious.  A lot of times I even call myself a recovering Catholic.  I’d like to think I’m more spiritual and I try to live my life by the Golden Rule, and I’m happy with the relationship I have with God.

 

Without getting all churchy and serious, I firmly believe that it’s important about what we say out loud.  What happens in our brain sometimes happens without any control.  For example, I have a tendency to think of the most inappropriate thing I could scream in a grocery story, but I never do it.  My brain is just weird like that.  Maybe one of these days I’ll figure out controlling all of my weird thoughts, but step one was for me to start being very careful about what I say.  I’m a powerful woman. you see.  No, I can’t lift heavy objects with ease, but I have learned that I have to be aware of what I say.

 

I first learned that I was a “powerful woman” when I was 23.  I was working at a spa doing makeup and I was very close to all of my co-workers.  We laughed, joked, and were mostly inappropriate as much as possible.  So one day, being the typical girl that I am, I asked aloud if anyone was sick.  I think what I really said was, “Hey! Anyone sick around here?  If so, let me drink after you.  I need to lose a few pounds.”  I thought I was being funny.  Everyone seemed to be healthy, so continued with work as usual.  For lunch that day, I decided to eat some fast food crappy burger in the food court at the mall, just like I had done a million other times.  At the time, I had no idea how powerful I was.

 

Around 5:00 pm, I went to my friend, Stephanie’s apartment.  We lived in the same complex and could walk to each other’s places in about 50 seconds.  She and I had plans to go to the store and buy some stuff for my apartment since I had recently moved in.  She was sitting on her bed, talking to her mom on the phone while I was just lounging in the living room.  All of a sudden, I started to not feel very well.  I walked into her bedroom, plopped myself on her bed face first, and told Stephanie that I wasn’t feeling quite right.  She got off the phone with her mom and asked me what was wrong.  I wasn’t really sure at the time, but I knew that my stomach was starting to rumble a little.  I laid down on the couch, and within the hour, I was in the bathroom hurling my guts out.  I had been stricken with food poisoning for the first time in my life.  I’ll spare you guys the major details, but for 48 hours I lived on Stephanie’s couch and in her bathroom.  I couldn’t even walk home and suffer in my own space.  There were times I wasn’t sure which end would spew out the poison, so I finally just opted to sit on the toilet.  If I was going to puke, her bathtub was two inches away, and I figured it would be easier to stomach cleaning puke from a tub than the liquid crap that I was pooing.  I have no idea how Stephanie did it, but she was amazing, and she took care of me like no friend should ever have to.

The crazy part is that I’m not sure I had ever been that skinny.  After 48 hours of puking and peeing out of my butt, my stomach was concave.  I wouldn’t wish food poisoning on my worst enemy, but I sure wish I could be that skinny again.

 

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This is my friend making her food poisoning face. She’ll kill me for posting this, but it makes me laugh so hard every time I see it.

The second time I realized I was powerful was probably about 9 months later.  I was at a dance event near Boston.  It was a combined lindy hop and west coast swing event, so I was surrounded by about 500 friends.  On Saturday, during the day, I was watching a lindy hop competition.  I was hanging out with friends of mine in the ballroom, and the competition was shameful.  This was some of the worst lindy hop I had seen in a long time, so it seemed like the perfect time for me to make fun of people.  (I’m a horrible person, I know.)  I told my friend, Andy, that my corneas were burning while watching this atrocity.  To be honest, I didn’t feel bad at all.  In fact, I was so proud of myself for coming up with something so clearly hilarious that I didn’t even think of the repercussions that could possibly happen.  Again, I didn’t know of my powers.

Dance event weekends are crazy.  It makes no sense when I tell a non-dancer that I watch competitions and dance until 7:00 am.  It’s crazy, but completely true.  And my adrenaline and excitement seems to limit my sleep to about 4 hours.  So when I woke up at 11:00 am on Sunday morning, I wasn’t surprised when my friend, Jojo was awake.  What really surprised me was that I couldn’t see out of my left eye.  It’s not like I couldn’t see anything, but everything was completely blurry.  I had zero pain and couldn’t find anything stuck in my eye.  At first, I joked about it.  I told Jojo that camera 1 was fine, but camera #2 was out of focus.  (I used to be obsessed with Wayne’s World.)  As the day progressed, my eye seemed to get worse and I started to feel anxious and frustrated.  I called my boyfriend who was back in Dallas, and he picked me up from the airport and immediately took me to the emergency room.  Apparently I had a huge scratch down the middle of my cornea, which according to the doctor should have been incredibly painful.  On a side note, this doctor was so weird.  He refused to make eye contact with me.  He stared at the ceiling non-stop, and I came so close to telling him that I don’t shoot lasers out of my eyes.  Anyways, I was prescribed a couple of drops and within two days, my left eye was back to normal.

 

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This is my left eye. I love instagram, and my friend loves my left eye.

So once I started looking back on various incidents, I realized that I am a powerful woman.  I also realized that I should be using this power for good and not for evil.  So since I was 24 years old, I’ve been saying that I’m going to win the lotto when I’m 39.  I felt like 39 would be the perfect age.  I’d be young enough to enjoy it and mature enough to spend it wisely.  And for the past ten years, I’ve believed that I’m going to win millions.

 

So I have five more years to put this in the universe.  Are you powerful?  What do you put in the universe?

 

Choose your words wisely, people.